“Don’t leave me alone. You know how depressed I am with my job and being away from family for years. How will I live here?” – I told my husband, who was going to India for a 2 month break. He assured me that by the time he was back, I would be stronger. He made me watch videos about the power of being alone, but nothing could convince me. With a heavy heart, I escorted him to the airport and for the next 15 days, I hardly slept for an hour every night.
I continued distracting myself by going out, shopping, and meeting friends, even with COVID restrictions in Singapore. Until one fine day, when I met a friend and her family turned out to be COVID positive just after two days of the meet. I had to serve a stay home notice for the next 7 days and this period collided with my husband’s trek in the Himalayas where he had no access to the network. I could not share with my in-laws and parents as I knew they would panic.
I had to pick myself, give myself everything I ever needed and do things I always wanted.
I picked up my long-lost love for painting and started going to art studios. Focused on nutrition and working out. Initially, I started to work out to lose weight, and in no time, I fell in love with the way my body responded w.r.t. energy levels, and stamina. Soon gym became my place of solitude & it became my post-work wind-up routine.
Since the universe was conspiring to make me stronger, I somehow stumbled upon a talk where the speaker emphasized the relationship between nutrition and mental health. By then I knew how emotional eating kept me in a deadlock. When I started to follow quantified nutrition, my moods were better, and mentally I was in a much better place when it was combined with workouts. Now I no longer seek comfort in food during any highs or lows of life.
When I look back at those struggling days when getting up from bed itself seemed to be a huge task, office work was a burden & days would go without sleep and food. It all makes so much sense now. Of course, I could not have done it all alone. I had immense support from my family and friends remotely who made that phase seem small by assuring me that I was much stronger.
When we go through rough times, we often question why me? Why should I suffer? The answer lies in the fact that to paint a beautiful painting, we often need black strokes to enhance the colors and effect. Life is a big, beautiful painting. So, embrace the black strokes of life with all your heart. It will only make your life-size painting more colorful and soulful!
Author: Augmentor Life