For all my life, I have considered myself a happy person. I come from an idyllic family. I have a supportive family, loving friends, perfect social life, and passionate hobbies. The life I had imagined, I was living at the very moment. I was climbing the ladder of success and could not ask for anything more. Confidence was flowing in me and it gave me wings to fly. And as they say, nothing is permanent so were my joys of spring.
I overworked my mind with a combination of things – working long hours, worrying, and overthinking. I can be particularly bad at ruminating. I took this to the point of triggering anxiety symptoms. I felt there was nothing wrong with my life but still something wasn’t in its place. It felt impossible to explain how I was feeling to anyone. I felt “kind of foggy”. I had no clue why I felt that way. I kept brushing off some unknown, unresolved issue inside by calling it a normal “mood swing”. I felt like I’d lost something. But having no clue when and where. Everything was blurred. Then one day I realized what I lost.
I realized that what I lost, was “MYSELF”.
Who stepped in to help me?
I DID.
I didn’t want my life to be that way so I knew I had to take action. It had to come from me, I sincerely desired, optimal health and well-being, and that’s what I am out to get.
I discovered core healthy mental habits that I could practice daily like mindfulness when my mind started to wander off, gratitude when I felt like my life was pointless, and learned about allowing myself a broader perspective on my life. I exercise, I meditate and I manage my emotions. With these habits, I was onto something that changed the way I thought about anxiety and my life as a whole. Changing my lifestyle helped me to deal with my anxiety issues, and all I can feel now is happy and motivated.
If I told you that I don’t suffer from anxiety any longer, I would be lying. My recovery lead me to discover that I couldn’t ‘cure’ my anxiety like I was frantically trying to do. Instead, I realized that the anxiety was there to stay with me, for the rest of my life. Based on this rude awakening, I started looking for ways to ‘re-energize’ my brain out of a continual state of anxiety.
Far more than we tend to realize, we’re all – in private – deeply anxious. There is so much that worries us across our days and nights; whether our hopes will come true, whether others will like us, whether the people we care about will be fine, and whether we can escape humiliation and grief. Too often, we bottle up our anxieties or try to avoid looking at them directly. We are ashamed of how worried we are and end up feeling isolated and yet more worried. None of this is necessary. Anxiety is deeply normal and, like so much else that troubles our minds, it can be understood and brought under our control. We all deserve to wake up every day without a sense of foreboding.
Overcoming my anxiety has been a journey of recalibrating my beliefs, my entire being, and finding my passion for work and life. Getting better from anxiety demands a lifelong commitment and I’ve made that commitment to myself and for the sake of those who love me. I am the main character of my life’s story. It’s time to give my audience something to be inspired by.
Author: Reetu Verma
