Anger is one of the most challenging emotions to handle. It is also an emotion that we face and feel almost everywhere and often in our personal and professional lives.
We will be talking about some simple tips to manage our anger effectively. But, before we move ahead, just make a permanent impression in your mind that – “Anger, like any other emotion, is temporary. Don’t ruin your relations just for a temporary, time-bound feeling”.
If necessary, write this on a stick-on note and paste it on something that you always come across, like your cupboard, the bedroom door, or your computer. This will keep reminding you how anger is a temporary emotion and eventually, it will get imbibed on your mind.
Now, let’s take a look at five simple ways to combat anger successfully.
Do Not React
Usually, when someone says something to us that our mind doesn’t accept, we tend to react immediately.
Reacting to any situation makes things worse. At this moment, you are acutely aware of your anger but your focus is on lashing back. Your need to respond and react feels so much stronger.
This time you need to disassociate between what is being said and who is saying it. Think about the present and future of the topic. Considering everything, you can respond later.
When you respond, the aggressiveness turns into assertiveness; the perception changes. You would have given a thought through response which will help calm the other person.
Take a Break
This method of taking a pause and responding after a couple of minutes helps in effectively managing our anger. When we take a pause for reflection, we identify that our rude response will do no good in such a scenario. You can simply walk away from the place or the situation that is escalating and making you angry.
So, today onwards when someone says something to you, listen carefully, take a pause, reflect if what is being said to you is beneficial to you or anyone in the present or future, and then slowly respond to it.
Responding is always preferred to reacting in any situation of life.
Pen Down Your Anger
Whenever you feel angry, pen down your anger in words. Just put into words whatever you are feeling at that moment. While you may use your computer to just type, it is recommended to use a pen and paper.
If you have been angered by a person and wish to throw back words at them, here is something you can do.
Either compose an email or a hand-written letter, expressing all your built-up anger. Then, put the email in draft or fold the letter and keep it aside. After a while, when you think you have calmed, you may open the email or the letter and read it to yourself.
While reading it, you will realize how harsh you would have sounded had you said the words directly to the concerned person. This can help you put off speaking in anger the next time.
Doing this activity also lets some time pass by during which you may calm down.
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Divert Your Anger
Whenever you feel like your temper is flaring, direct your emotions to something else. This can be as simple as playing darts, squeezing a ball, or listening to music. You may even simply shut your eyes and focus on your breathing. All these activities can help you release your pent-up anger.
Not to forget, the age-old and well-known activity of screaming in a pillow to let out the anger. On similar lines, you can also get to cleaning your cupboard or your desk if you get angry at your workplace.
Do Some Exercise
We all know that exercising releases endorphins, the feel-good hormones. So, when you feel angry, do some physical activity. You can go for a walk, use the skipping rope, do some mock boxing, or even climb up and down the stairs of your building. If you are someone who exercises daily, you can perform your workout for the day. And, if you have been procrastinating exercising, then grab the situation as a chance to start working out.
This is one of the best ways to utilize your energy to the optimum. Exercising will release feel-good hormones that are endorphins, will help you calm down, and also contribute towards your fitness.
When you feel angry, bear it in your mind, that it is a distraction. And, once you express your anger, its ramifications can further distract you. Instead, if you combat the anger, you will find yourself more focused, light-headed, and mentally at a better place.
Authors:
Shashank Lalwani (INFS Faculty)
Ketki H.
