When will my palpitation stop?
Will I be able to sleep peacefully at night?
Why am I always dull?
Can I become a person with lots of positivity and enthusiasm?
How can I stop my overthinking?
Why do I feel lonely even in a crowd, when will my void, empty feeling resolve?
Hey, my mental health warrior, let’s pause for a while and hold on to your horses of thoughts …………….. Let’s go through my journey. One fine day I got up from sleep and went to see my phone. Guess what! my results were out. My world came crashing down when I understood that I had flunked one subject while allowed to keep next term. I had never failed any of my examinations. According to me, failure meant the end of life. I cried a lot.
My parents consoled me but nothing seemed to be working for me. I somehow managed to give the examination and I passed with good marks but the worthless feeling was persistent. Lots of negative thoughts ran through my mind.
My friend took the initiative to send me back to my hometown so that I could start my treatment. Then I started my treatment. The first task that the doctor gave me was to thank God every day and count the blessing which I was lacking a lot. Then after months, I went back to my hostel.
I was so blessed to have roommates who helped me with the situation and never left me alone. For me they secretly started changing the surrounding of the room by writing positive quotes, making the room look more bright for positive feelings, everyday compulsory praying with them, then slowly started going out for walks, etc.
One of my roommates suggested I start practicing yoga which was a turning point in my life. With all these, my perception of failure and other problems in my life changed significantly. I now deal with my problem more bravely and patiently.
Today am healed and standing as a strong, enthusiastic person. But I did continue to find ways to fight back against depression and never let it come again in my life. Currently, I am trying bibliotherapy i.e reading books which I loved a lot. Through this therapy, my capacity to deal with pain has improved.
I just wanna say, if I can overcome then u too can just try, don’t give up on yourself. I would like to end by narrating a beautiful story that I read recently.
Franz Kafka encountered a little girl in the park where he walked daily. She was crying as she had lost her doll. Kafka offered to help to look for her doll and arranged to meet her next week at the same spot. Unable to find a doll, he composed a letter to her from the doll.
Please do not mourn, I have gone on a trip. I will be writing to you about my adventure. This was the beginning of the composer’s letter. He used to read out one letter to her every day about different adventures. The little girl was comforted. The meetings with Kafka came to an end and he gave her the doll. The doll didn’t look original but a letter was attached to the doll saying, I have changed due to traveling. Many years later the girl has grown and she noticed the doll with a the letter written on it. Everything that you love will lose eventually and love will be written in another form ……. Thank you!!!
Author: Megha Chavan
