Living beings are blessed with the ability to feel things. We can either feel things physically, for example, the hard wood or the soft feather or we can feel things mentally for example the feeling of fear that we experience on seeing a snake. Now, feelings are experienced consciously. Sometimes we manifest certain sensations unconsciously or subconsciously, these are called emotions. Simply put feelings are the reactions to your emotions.
Now it becomes important for us to understand these emotions. Why? Because we humans are social animals and live with other human beings. Society has its own codes and conducts that need to be followed and for this to happen, for there to be peace in society we need to manage our emotions.
You may have commonly heard about intelligence quotient (IQ), similarly, emotional quotient (EQ) is the ability and skills of humans that help us perceive situations and express ourselves. It is also called emotional intelligence (EI).
Emotional intelligence plays a vital role not only in our life but also in the lives of those who live with us, our colleagues, our friends, peers, and family. This article will act as a guide for you to gain some insight into the concept of emotional intelligence and how you can use it for your benefit.
What is Emotional Intelligence?
We always talk about intelligence as a general quality without picking a particular variety. Every sort of intelligence signals an ability to navigate well around a particular set of challenges that may be mathematical, linguistic, commercial, technical, etc. A person may be clever but have made a mess of their personal life, or they may have acquired a fortune but would be restless and sad. In these examples, we are pointing out a deficit in what we call emotional intelligence.
Emotional intelligence is the quality that enables us to confront the many problems we face in our affective relationship with ourselves. It helps us face these problems with patience and insight. It refers to how well we handle ourselves and our relationships with those around us.
In social life, we can feel the presence of emotional intelligence in the sensitivity to the moods of others and in the readiness of understanding that there may be other things going on in their life beneath the surface. Emotional intelligence recognizes a role for interpretation and knows that for example, an outburst may be a disguised plea for help.
If you are emotionally intelligent you will refuse to trust your first impulses and understand that hatred may mask deep love or that anger may mask sadness.
History of Emotional Intelligence
When psychologists began to write and think about intelligence, they focused on cognitive aspects, such as memory and problem-solving. However, some researchers recognized early on that the non-cognitive aspects were also important (1). Scientific references on this topic date to the 1960s after which Salovey and Mayer proposed the first formal definition and model of the construct in 1990 (2).
According to them, emotional intelligence was a form of social intelligence that involved the ability to monitor one’s own and others’ feelings and emotions, to discriminate among them, and to use this information to guide one’s thinking and action. They also initiated a research program intended to develop valid measures of emotional intelligence and explore its significance.
Salovey and Mayer’s model was soon followed by several alternative conceptions. The most influential, and the one mainly responsible for launching the field, was Goleman (1995). He was a science writer for the New York Times, whose beat was brain and behavior research. He became aware of the earlier work in this field, and this eventually led to his book, Emotional Intelligence.
With the term’s newly found cachet, and with the excitement surrounding the identification of potential new intelligence, many used the term—but often in markedly different ways (3).
Assuming that emotional intelligence was important, the question of assessment and measurement became particularly pressing. The oldest instrument for the measurement of EQ was Bar-On’s EQ-I scale (1997), which has been around for over a decade and is a self-report questionnaire.
A second instrument is the Multifactor Emotional Intelligence Scale which is a test of ability. Other tools like the Emotional Competence Inventory, EQ Map, etc are also prevalently used (1).
Why Is It Important To Understand Emotional Intelligence?
It is important for human beings to deal effectively with their emotions daily. This is because our brains always give our emotions the upper hand. It is a scientifically proven fact that emotions always come before thoughts. This is how it works in your brain.
Everything that you hear see touch or smell travels through your body in form of electric signals. These signals pass from cell to cell and ultimately your brain. They enter your brain at the base. From here these signals need to pass to that area of your brain behind your forehead, called the frontal lobe.
It is in this lobe that logical thinking takes place. Now the problem is before reaching the frontal lobe these signals pass through the limbic system, where your emotions are produced. Hence you tend to experience emotions before your logical thinking and reasoning kick into action. The frontal lobe and the limbic system influence each other and have constant communication between them. emotional intelligence requires this constant communication.
By developing your emotional intelligence you can become more productive and successful at what you do, and help others become more productive and successful too. The process and outcomes of emotional intelligence development also contain many elements known to reduce stress.
Thus, on a personal level, emotional intelligence can help you have those uncomfortable conversations with your loved ones without hurting their feelings.
It will also help in managing your emotions when you are feeling stressed or overwhelmed and improve your relationship with the people you care about. On a professional level, emotional intelligence can help you resolve conflicts, motivate your peers, and build psychological safety within your teams
Ways To Improve Your Emotional Intelligence
When defining emotional intelligence, one faces the challenge that there is not one decided definition. There is a disagreement between researchers on exactly what terminology to use and exactly how much of our behavior can be affected by El. The mixed model that was most famously described by Daniel Goleman, is today the most widely accepted and used model for El. It involves a range of competencies that are broken down into skill sets and which together form the picture of a person’s level of El (4).
The following are the competencies:
Self-Awareness- this involves knowing how you feel in the moment, using your gut feelings to help decision-making, and having a realistic understanding of your own abilities.
Self-Management- it includes handling your own emotions so that they don’t interfere but facilitate your development, recovering well from emotional distress, and translating your deepest, truest preferences into action in order to improve and succeed.
Social Awareness- this involves sensing what others are feeling, being able to understand situations from others’ perspectives, and cultivating relationships with a diverse range of people.
Social Skills- it includes handling emotions concerning relationships with other people, the ability to interact well in social situations, and using this skill set to influence, persuade, negotiate, and lead.
What is most important to recognize about Goleman’s model of EI is that these competencies are not considered to be inborn. Instead, they must be developed over time to develop and improve performance. Unlike IQ, which is believed to be ‘fixed’ by the time you reach adulthood, El is not. You can continue to develop your emotional intelligence throughout your lifetime.
A few tips to improve your emotional intelligence are as follows:
- Acknowledge your emotions- understand your emotions and be ok with them. do not disregard your emotions instead accept them, and talk about them.
- Differentiate and analyze your emotions- recognize that there are a lot of different emotions. These need to be handled differently.
- Accept and appreciate emotions- emotions are neither good nor bad. They gain recognition through society. So accept your emotions whether they are positive or negative. You can try writing down your emotions in a journal.
- Reflect on your emotions and their origins- once you understand your emotions you can reflect on why you feel like that in certain situations. Understanding what triggers these emotions in you will help you in managing them better.
- Handle your emotions- sometimes reflecting on your emotions may be enough to handle them but it may not be the case in a few situations. You may need to actively work or devise your own ways to handle your emotions maybe sports, meditation, talking to friends, etc.
- Handle the emotions of those around you- as you appreciate and analyze your emotions it will become easier for you to handle the emotions of people around you too as you will have a different understanding and perspective of the same.
Your emotions are unique to you and the better you get to know them the more you will feel connected to your own self. Emotional intelligence may be a concept difficult to understand but it is equally interesting. You can do your research about this topic and give your views in the comments section below.
Author: Dr Pooja Nilgar (Content writer and editor)
References
- Cherniss, C., 2000. Emotional intelligence: What it is and why it matters (p. 15). Rutgers University, Graduate School of Applied and Professional Psychology.
- Trait, E.I., 2004. Emotional intelligence. Psychologist, 17(10), p.574.
- Mayer, J.D., Roberts, R.D. and Barsade, S.G., 2008. Human abilities: Emotional intelligence. Annual review of Psychology, 59(1), pp.507-536.
- Serrat, O., 2017. Understanding and developing emotional intelligence. In Knowledge solutions (pp. 329-339). Springer, Singapore.
