We as humans, all live in a society. In this society, we meet numerous people throughout our lifetime. Since you are born as a baby to the time your soul attains peace you go on meeting other humans and all of them directly or indirectly affect your life. Now, as living beings, we are blessed with emotions that we express from time to time.
Our emotions also affect those around us. Sometimes we may be able to comprehend the feelings others have towards us but this may not always be the case. Humans are also very complex beings; our brains work in a manner that sometimes even we may not understand.
We may express ourselves in ways that may hurt or have a cynical effect on others. This being done, knowingly or unknowingly, is not very conducive to the mental health of that person and those around him too.
But as they say, you have to take life as it comes. It is not always possible to avoid these negative people. It may be someone at your workplace or among your family members who you have to face each day, every day.
In such cases you cannot break down or back out, you have to be strong and find a way to deal with them. If you are facing such situations or you feel like you are stuck with someone negative for you, the following article is just what you need.
The most important aspect of dealing with negative people is to understand in the first place that these people are having a negative effect on you. You may be having the best of the day and once you meet this person you yourself start feeling gloomy or depressed, or seeing the other person in a state of panic you start behaving out of control too. You need to consciously take these situations into account. Seeing the signs and the red flags as well as setting your boundaries is imperative.
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Now let us see various strategies you can use to handle the negative people in your life
Empathize
Sometimes when a person is having negative emotions, telling them or advising them about life may not work. You only need to understand what they are going through. Maybe they are just venting out their feelings and want to be heard or they consider you close enough to share their problems with you. Give them an ear or maybe a shoulder to cry on. The utmost important thing here is to make sure that this does not become a habit.
Retain your Identity
You must keep in mind that you are a separate individual. Every person will have their problems and difficulties in life and you are not responsible for anything that goes on in others’ life. Be your original self. Do not lose yourself to others. Handling what others are going through, is up to them. Taking action is what they should do, and not what you should do for them.
Stand for Yourself
Be firm as to what you want from the relationship you have with the other person. Tell them that. Be persistent in your viewpoint. You need to be vocal about your boundaries and convey them to the person in front of you. Only then will they not take you for granted. If you want them to only hold your finger do not give them your hand.
Never Play the Blame Game
Telling people how negative they are behaving will never help. No, because they don’t want to but sometimes they just cannot. In this situation removing yourself from the equation is the best solution. Detach yourself from them for some time and see if there is any positive change in them. After all, time does pass and people do change.
Do what makes you Happy
In the frustrations and problems of others, you should never stop yourself from things that give you happiness. If someone around you is having a tough time and you want to go out for a movie you have all the right to go. Here your peace of mind is what matters. You cannot sacrifice your happiness for others unless they are ready to do the same for you.
Do not Become a Problem Solver
You may want to help those who need you. You may feel that this is what is the right thing to do but no, stop yourself right there. You cannot solve everyone’s problems. You cannot always be the problem solver no matter how much you want. Sometimes it is up to others to find solutions that are feasible for them. Just like you cannot answer your friend’s exam paper even when you know the answers, you cannot solve their life problems too.
Use Positive Words
Sometimes just using affirmative words helps. Instead of talking about an experience in a pessimistic manner and complaining or cribbing about why it happened, you can focus on asking the person about the positive lessons that the experience taught them. After all, every cloud has a silver lining!
Problems and difficulties are a part and parcel of life. Facing them will only make you stronger. Victimizing yourself and feeling dejected for some time is but natural. This does not mean that you project your feelings on others and if someone is doing that to you it is up to you to put a stop to it.
Never give up on your inner peace, nobody is worthy enough!
Have you crossed paths with someone who was negative to you? How did you handle the situation? Do let us know in the comments section below.
Author: Dr Pooja Nilgar (Content writer and editor)